I'm Not There

  Lay back and enjoy being inferior. Wow, after eleven years of doing this, I don't think I've ever felt so uncomfortable watching a movie.  It wasn't the typical horror suspense uncomfortable just uncomfortable watching.  As uncomfortable and disturbed by all those people boycotting Netflix because of Cuties except I actually watched the movie.  Other than some instances of suspense and torture, I am having trouble seeing how The Last House on the Left keeps getting classified as a horror film.   I'm imagining all the ruined nights and relationships of all the naive  couples that went to go watch this in the theater in 1972.  I can see it being designated as a thriller, barely, but let's call a spade a spade, this is a snuff film through and through.   In the first five minutes we learn that the protagonist is turning seventeen and then we see shots of her topless in the shower.  Why?  Granted, this is a 1970's version o...

  All men really want is the power you give them.  Typically, when somebody moves into a new house, it is not haunted, even if they are a bad person.   However, C.M. Punk is special and  in  Girl on the third Floor ,  the house must have thought he could handle it.  This movie starts out great and then towards the end, falls flatter than two-day old Pepsi.  (C.M. Punk loves Pepsi and has a tattoo of their logo, wrestling fans know this which is why this joke is so hilarious). This movie is only a year old so I will not give away any big  spoilers so keep reading to see if this is something you would be interested in.  The movie opens up with some stills from objects around the house, giving it a surreal vibe reminiscent of  The Shining.   The protagonist Don Koch (played by Punk) shows up with his cute German Shepherd Cooper.  He just bought this house which needs major interior repairs and we see that ...

April Fool's! In the interest of transparency, tonight's screening was chosen based solely on the VHS box art I remember seeing at my local video rental place in the 80's/early 90's.  As with a whole lot of 80's horror movies, the box art was what sold the movie to anyone not familiar with the work, especially children who were not supposed to watch such scary movies.  The caveat to that is that the box art frequently had scenes or characters not in the actual movie, it's what made me rent Dead Alive (boy was I disappointed).  In this case, the box art has a woman with her back towards the box holding a knife and her long hair is tied into a noose. Although this scene was not in the movie, I was still able to enjoy this original and entertaining movie, I mean, just look at the picture I posted above, way better than noose hair.   Having never seen or heard anything specific about this movie, I did not know what to expect.  I briefly read the logline and let...

Hooray for Friday Night   First of all, I have to admit that I feel pretty dumb for not realizing that anthology movies are a pretty regular sub-genre of horror. I knew about the obvious ones like Trick 'r Treat, Tales from the Darkside, Tales of Halloween, Tales From the Hood and The Twilight Zone.  However,   I did not realize until today that there are a lot more horror anthology series and sequels out there. It makes sense with the popularity of horror comic books in the 40's and 50's like EC's Tales From the Crypt which later became a movie and then a show and then a children's animated series and then a children's game show. Start them early!  With that being said, Trilogy of Terror was at best entertaining and at worst boring.  It seems to just be a vehicle for Karen Black to show off her acting skills which she does well.  A+ for that but  it still should have been called Trilogy of Average or T rilogy of Karen Black, am I right?   ...

  They are playing "skin the fool." Full disclosure, I did not think I was going to enjoy Midsommar as much as I did.  The trailer was vague and with a running tie of 148 minutes I thought, "not right now but someday."   All I knew about this movie was that it dealt with a crying flower girl with a very European group of people that were possibly in some sort of cult.  Lastly, I would see girls dressed up as the characters from Midsommar for Halloween parties and conventions and just thought it was a lazy, last minute, unimaginative  costume to wear. Although this has nothing to with the quality of the movie itself, I just really hate lazy ass "costumes" where people just wear basic clothes and a hat because the're too cool.  I miss the 80's.  I digress, back to this weird movie. Perhaps weird is not the right adjective for this movie, let's go with unique.  This movie is unique which is a concept  I can get behind and apprec...

  Trick Or Treat It's pretty hard to watch a horror movie with headphones on in the dark.   When I say hard I really mean scary.  In order to not disturb my roommate, I have to sometimes watch things on my computer using headphones.  Not only am I physically closer to the spooky imagery on the screen, but all the noises are amplified and feel that much closer,  In addition, this record breaking hot temperature has me opening the front door at night,  This accomplishes two things; it lets the cooler air in through the process of convection and also distracts my peripherals with moving shadows, flickering lights and the random person walking by. When I am enjoying horror movies on my television, I wonder what my neighbors think I am watching.  Usually the loudest parts they get to hear are women screaming and making gagging sounds (as they die).  Anyway, tonight I decided to take a shot of Halloween spirit and watched Tales of Halloween. T...

  Blood is life! We're starting this year's Images of Fright Film Festival with one of the earliest if not the first ever feature horror film.  F.W. Murnau's Nosferatu (1922).  Imagine being an audience member in post war Germany and experiencing this film in the few theaters that screened it. It's hard to imagine that now seeing as how the character of Count Orlock and the German expressionist aesthetic of the film (as well as the copyright lawsuit) have now both become iconic. However, looking at the film with a modern eye, it has trouble holding up the tests of time. The biggest drawback of the film is it just feels too long.   The film is separated into five acts (another call back to the stage) and the first two do a good job of setting up the exposition.  Acts 3 and 4 felt like they were dragging on and could have both been shorter.  Add to this that you're not only reading action and dialogue title cards but also the pages of the...