Lay back and enjoy being inferior.

Wow, after eleven years of doing this, I don't think I've ever felt so uncomfortable watching a movie.  It wasn't the typical horror suspense uncomfortable just uncomfortable watching.  As uncomfortable and disturbed by all those people boycotting Netflix because of Cuties except I actually watched the movie.  Other than some instances of suspense and torture, I am having trouble seeing how The Last House on the Left keeps getting classified as a horror film.  I'm imagining all the ruined nights and relationships of all the naive couples that went to go watch this in the theater in 1972. I can see it being designated as a thriller, barely, but let's call a spade a spade, this is a snuff film through and through.  

In the first five minutes we learn that the protagonist is turning seventeen and then we see shots of her topless in the shower.  Why?  Granted, this is a 1970's version of a seventeen -year old (the actress was 24 in real life) but it is still disturbing.  She gets out of the shower and then her father starts talking about her nipples.  Why?  This does not add anything to the plot or development of the characters. There is a radio announcement about two prison escapees and their acquaintances that are near the city the girls are going to.  However, we will eventually learn that plot does not matter.  Ultimately, this movie is just a series of unnecessary snuff scenes held up by shorter flimsy plot scenes.  

The last House on the Left can be considered a pioneer in torture porn going on to influence movies like Hostel and Saw.  Mari the birthday girl and her friend Phyllis celebrate by going to the city to catch a concert until they get tricked by Artie Ziff from The Simpsons and they then get kidnapped by the prison escapees.  Prior to the kidnapping, the girls are seen hanging out together in the woods and at least one of them has a secret lesbian attraction.  Of course, the film does not explore that because this is 1972 and you can't show a lesbian relationship on screen because that's unethical so instead, you get to see them forced to have sex with each other.  Investing in these two girls does not pay off.  Initially, it is easy to emphasize with the girls and feel the terror of being chased and hunted.  Except that the terror aspect is eventually lost because the majority of the movie deals with the girls being hunted, raped, stabbed, and ultimately killed.  They come close to escaping but the filmmakers give you the middle finger and make you watch a urine scene or another rape scene.  

These graphic scenes cut back to small scenes with a bumbling deputy and sheriff.  What makes this even stranger is there are horrible scenes with the girls suffering and bleeding and there is a cut to the sheriff or Mari's parents with the most out of place lively music out of Sesame Street.  Picture Sesame Street segments where you're learning about capital and lower case letters while wacky kazoo music plays.  That is what they cut to after the girls are being tortured.  A girl was literally raped and killed and then right away there's a silly scene with a truck full of chickens knocking over the sheriff and deputy.  It felt unnecessary to show these girls for the majority of the movie only for them not to make it out ok.  However, that then allows for more torture porn, this time by Mari's parents using chainsaws and blowjobs to dispense of the bad guys.  I'll let you guess which parent did what.  

I hardly ever discourage people from watching a movie but this is one of those times.  Not only because of today's climate but mainly because the whole movie was unnecessary.  I don't see what the point of this movie is other than an excuse to show sex and violence. It's nothing but sex, violence, drugs, murder and more violence and that may sound cool for some people but in this case it is not.  There was a remake that came out in 2009 but after sitting through this, I have no interest in watching it.  Sorry Aaron Paul. I can't remember the last movie that had me going on like a conservative church lady.  After it was over, I made myself feel better by picturing that the goofy deputy who is played by Martin Cove, went to Vietnam real quick and came back to open his own karate dojo... Cobra Kai.   No Mercy!