I'm Not There

  "You're gonna die tonight." Urban Legends is a movie that I probably should have watched a long time ago, I remember hearing about it but I think I always got it confused with Final Destination  which came out two years later.  This movie is wonderfully 1998, referencing pagers, those couple of years where swing music made a comeback thanks to Swingers , not being able to us ethe phone when someone was using the internet and even a pretty cute Dawson's Creek  reference with Pacey himself.  Aside from  that, it's pretty much what you would exepect. The premise is a cool concept, murders based on urban legends (some of which I had not heard of like the flashing headlights at a car apparently means war) . The way it was executed I think could have been better, especially when you find out the killer in the end and how impossible it is for a person with that frame to do the things and setup they did.  Also noticeable to nerds like me and maybe normies is the editing

  You Drugged Lenny. When I saw the art work and description for this movie last year, I knew I had to watch it.  I waited to this year to watch it and was very excited to do so.  I hate writing things like this because I know nobody sets out to make a terrible movie but that is the case with Bad Candy. The description says the movie is a montage of short stories similar to Creepshow  and Trick r' Treat but let me tell you that is where the similarities stop.  It starts out very promising, with friends getting ready to trick or treat, gorgeous cinematography and production design for this first scene.  Then it leads into a devil clown lighting up some kid's head and turning him into a figure.  This is where the movie first lost me because the tone of it changed out of nowhere here, then that led to one of the friends having the power to draw things that come to life. I literally said, "whaaat?" After this we see necrophilia, a big bat creature (see above) a pimp getti

 Wanna See a Magic Trick? As sooon as I saw Ethan Hawke in this cool looking mask, I knew I wanted to watch The Black Phone.  To my surprise, this movie is a period piece, taking place in the 70's in the United States. Possibly in California since the town seemed pretty ethically diverse. However, it doesn't matter what ethnicity you are becase The Grabber takes all kids.  The Grabber is what they call this guy up above in the picture who likes to kidnap young boys and then do stuff with them.  He is a serial killer who seems to have been influenced by John Gacy, instead of him being a clown, in this film, he is a comedian. The movie itself is more suspenseful than horror, but those moments of suspense are pretty intense.  There is a black telephone that somehow keeps ringing and helps move the story forward.  The movie almost feels like a true crime podcast come to life where you're in the middle of a crime scene similar to other scenes you have heard.  Ethan Hawke does a

  "Dark Meat" I don't have much to say about this movie other than it gave us what we were clamoring for for years.  It is  a scary movie that has Kelly Rowland, Freddy and Jason.  I mainly came here to bring up how Freddy casually says that line up above and how it seems a little racist.  Imagine if Freddy only killed White people .  Anyway, I remember watching this movie in a theater and being annoyed by that comment as well as Kelly Rowland calling Freddy a slur back. Of course there is a bit more to this movie and it give sus a bit of what the title promises but you are left with the feeling that it could have been way better.  It took about 18 revisions of the script to get what we got so I imagine it was a miracle we got this movie at all.  The takeaway is that the movie is just ok  at best and a waste of a good crossover and wasted talent of Robert Englund at worst.  Th eother takeaway is that cinematically, Kelly Rowland will proably be remembered more for this an