You don't want no smoke with the BX.

As soon as I heard a movie called Vampires Vs the Bronx was being released I was all in for two reasons.  First, it is reminiscent of kid centric horror movie sub-genre of the 1980's such as The Monster Squad, The Lost Boys and even The Goonies and guess what?  I am there for it.  Secondly, I am Bodega Hive and will support The Kid Mero to keep the brand strong.  Ah ah ah!  This movie ended up being a delightfully entertaining experience that were it not for some profanity, would be fun for the whole family.  If you trust your 4 year old to hear the occasional "F" and "S" words without repeating it in pre-school then you good fam.  

The story deals with a lot of businesses in the Bronx being bought out by a company that goes by the name of Murnau Properties.  Now, when I saw this, it took me out of the movie a little because it was too on the nose.  As a reminder from our first screening, (reaction which can be found here) F.W. Murnau was a German guy that directed the first feature length vampire film Nosferatu which in itself was based on Bram Stoker's Dracula novel.  Not only is the company name Murnau Properties, but their logo also happens to have a picture of Vlad the Impaler, the guy who inspired the character of Dracula.  Nobody in the movie took notice of this and were still surprised there were vampires running around and gentrifying the Bronx.  Either this movie must be set in some alternate universe where Vlad just drove the 6 train or I'm a huge nerd who thinks it was a very obvious Easter egg and I should go out more.  Maybe both.

The movie sticks to the classic vampire lore where they are weakened by garlic and holy water,  can be killed with a steak through the heart, and have no reflection.  They also add that a vampire can die if the body of Christ is placed on their tongue.  Makes sense. The vampires here look like the typical heavy browed vampires that were introduced by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the show not the movie. It also touches on serious issues like racism, gentrification and racism.  The story is held together by the friendship of three boys who together try to save their local bodega until they can't and then have to fight powerful vampires to take their borough back.  The movie plays out as expected with some cool turns and Method Man as a father in the church.  I recommend everyone watch this movie that I dare snot spoil since it just came out today on Netflix. What I will say is that very Bronx things like a bodega cat and a Timb make an appearance.