The Hedgehog is a Piece of Shit
Recently, I had the misfortune of learning a life lesson that I should have no doubt have realized a long time ago. You see, being my sweet misanthropic self, I already dislike associating with most people and my default setting for those I don't know is to stay away because I have always found that in general, people are selfish and will only talk to you when they need something and this becomes the basis for that relationship unless one person alters the dynamic. I've always had this perspective, from a male point of view because despite what you may have heard on Instagram, I was born a male and thus, that is the only viewpoint I have. Still until recently, I have not thought of what general outlook I would have towards people if I were a woman. Even then, that's a vague way to look at it since there are so many perspectives that come with being a woman like race, gender, disability.
What I took away after talking to some of my female friends recently is that attractive women deal with a lot of unnecessary pressure and inappropriateness from men and women who think they're doing absolutely nothing wrong. You may be thinking to yourself that this is not breaking news and has always gone on and I should have already known this. While this is true, it was not until recently that this concept solidified based on experiences I was told and was there to witness. I will briefly detail the three that made me come to this simple and necessary realization.
I have a friend that told me that when she was younger she was staying at her friend's house for a couple of days. One day her female friend asked her to jump in the shower with a dude who was also staying there. My friend said she felt pressured to do so and ultimately obliged. Once inside, the guy started kissing on her and making things uncomfortable for her. She told me she felt guilty saying no to her friend and felt like she had to go in the shower even though she KNEW she did not want to. She was younger and more innocent at the time and this scenario would probably not happen to her today. What struck me is the fact that she said that she felt almost obligated to not only listen to her friend but let the guy kiss on her when she clearly did not want to do either of those things.
The second experience was actually my first time witnessing an act of sexual harassment that left me confused. I was out at lunch with a different girl friend and her guy friend. I had seen the guy around and had always got a "creepy" vibe from him but he was so friendly to certain people that they all talked to him and liked him. I felt like I was in The Twilight Zone where only I could see and sense this guy was a perv and everyone else just saw a friendly dude. A dude who loved to come up and hug certain females. Anyway, after we ate, we headed out of the restaurant and towards the parking lot where his high rise truck was parked. Once there, the guy "helped" my friend step into the back seat of his truck by grabbing her ass and pushing her up. I immediately noticed what he was doing but saw that my friend was laughing and thought that she must have been ok with it. She had known the guy for years and I thought that's the type of relationship they must have. Still, I thought it was a real douchey thing for the guy to do in general not to mention the fact that he was married. After he dropped us off, my friend asked me if I saw that he grabbed her butt and how weird and uncomfortable that was. When I heard her say this, I was shocked, angry and confused all at the same time. I told her I did see but since they were both laughing, I thought that's just how they got along. I made sure to clarify that I was not blaming her for the incident but was confused as to why she would smile and laugh if she was uncomfortable. She said she was laughing because she was so uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. After that day, I tell everyone I can who associates with that guy what I saw so they can stay clear of him or at least be aware he's a sexual predator.
The final incident happened not too long ago and involved a certain ex pornographic actor who after doing some research is no stranger to sexual harassment. This incident is what made me put all these examples together and realize that a lot of women deal with stuff they should not have to. I was out with a friend socializing when Ron walked in (slowly) and a couple people got excited to see him and asked for a picture. I was the same way, excited and unaware of his past offenses and so I got a picture with him. My friend also asked for a picture but since she is way prettier than me, he was way nicer to her and while chatting her up, somehow signed her boob and was being inappropriate. Again, I saw her laughing and thought it must not have been a big deal to her so she and I went downstairs to go sit at our table and finish off the night with some drinks. He followed us down and started talking to her again. She then took him to meet some other people (I later learned she did this to get him away from her) and about 45 seconds later he came back and was talking in her ear. It's important to note that the area we were now in had music blasting and there were people yelling. Although I was sitting two or three feet across from my friend while Ron was talking in her ear, I could not hear anything. In my mind, he was trying to hit on her because he's the hedgehog and thought he could. About a minute later, I saw my friend's face change and she looked uncomfortable so I jumped up and got in between them and asked her if she was ok and if she wanted to go, she said she did and we left. On the way to the car, she tells me the nasty things he was saying to her and how he was trying to have her grope him under the table. She is understandably upset as was I and I could not believe this guy was acting this way like it was no big deal. I have now come to read that he is so well known for groping women that he is banned from the AVN awards. We were both upset and disappointed that someone who we initially were excited to see turned out to be such a disgusting creep. It seems like people are usually excited to meet this guy in person and he sees this as a licence to do bad things and people are so shocked that they don't react the way that they want to.
To witness someone going from an innocent excitement to then unexpected disgust and sadness is pretty shitty. These stories have reaffirmed that humans can be pretty selfish and irresponsible creatures. These are just the stories that were shared with me or I was there for. I can't imagine the countless others that I do not know about from the different women in my life. These stories have taught me to be more vigilant than I ever have been when out with female friends. I cannot and will not stand for women having to play off unwanted advances like it's not a big deal or worse, feel obligated to endure it. I understand that these incidents are not exclusive to women, but the examples I have are all from women which is why I am focusing on them. This was a long post but an important one, hopefully you made it to the end and if not, you should be ashamed. Not to worry, I will go back to horror and other postings soon enough, we have 154 days until Halloween.
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